Monday, 22 December 2008

Yes indeedy folks - this will be my last post for a little while. It's my last day at work today - we don't have internet at home and we're away for Christmas and New Year. So I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and do hope that you have a lovely restful holiday.

I have planned 2 weeks of sitting on the sofa. I shopped for my Christmas wardrobe yesterday, 2 pairs of new pyjamas, 2 pairs of thermal socks, 1 massive long wooly cardigan and a big fat fluffy scarf. I'm also packing my blankie and 10 library books.

I shall see you in the New Year when I am hoping to be fit and full of vim and vigour. Wish me well!

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Vivien, oh Vivien, oh have you met Vivien?

This is the dress I wanted to buy for New Year. With this petticoat:

And I've been scouring the shops for a belt just like this:

It all started when I remembered I had some pink and red T-Bar shoes that I've never worn. I'm going to a New Year party and I wanted to wear them, so I thought a nice 50's dress with pink petticoats would be fab. Unfortunately I was shopping at the weekend with my mum and bought this:

Which is all very nice and slinky and "now" and sexy and lovely and cheap but it isn't a big swirly fluffy 50s pink and red dress with a cinch waist where I can look all burlesque and pouty.


dress and petticoat from Vivien of Holloway

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Calling all Londoners!

Please come to a private view of some of my things in a Pop-Up shop in Islington.

"Oblong Gallery invites you to an Art & Craft Pop-up Shop displaying an eclectic range of objects for sale made by various artists and makers."

Preview shopping evening - 10th December (that's tomorrow) 5-9pm

69a Southgate Road, London, N1 3JS

Time to hibernate yet?

My advent calendar is just my way of counting down the days until hibernation. Fortunately I am having a bit of a quiet time at the moment - I just need to bake some cookies for 3 people, make a few pin badges for my kickboxing kids and bake my Dad a birthday cake.

I've had a bit of luck with some of my craftiness - my teacup candles and some printed teatowels are going to be featured in a gallery in Islington up until Christmas. I'm not expecting great things from it though, but it will be nice to have other people see them.

Tonight we are off to a friend's house for sausage and mash. Oh the yumminess comforty food. It will be nice to be looked after for a little while.

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

"Like a Fox in a Hen House!"

On returning from the supermarket a couple of weekends ago, this is the sight that greeted me in the kitchen! I'd only asked for the new oven to be plugged in!

6 hours later we'd stripped the whole wall! Unfortunately the laminate layer of 70 years of wallpaper and paint was surprisingly adhesive in places. On the plus side I've gained half an inch of kitchen!

The title comes from my husband's exasperation at my Dad! He really is like that in a place that needs a little renovation - I think we were lucky to escape with the walls still standing! Dad starts on the bathroom next weekend...

Monday, 1 December 2008

Happy December!

Diana, looking pretty amazed with my culinary skills!

I forgot to open my advent calendar this morning - I have something to look forward to this evening, along with some printing of cards.

Apart from lying in bed all weekend I did at least manage to accomplish one thing - I baked a cake! Oh lordy is it fabulous.

I do apologise that I have been sadly lacking with the posts recently. It would appear that I have a recurrance of Chronic Fatigue or ME, or "yuppie flu" whichever you want to call it. Things may be a little quiet around here. They are definitely quiet on the crafting front, and they are non-existent on the training front. I am barely keeping enough of my shit together to get to the 2 lessons that I teach each week.

Monday, 24 November 2008

Is it Monday?

This has been my past week. I don't know if it was a bug or my body fancied a week sleeping the house move off - but I have been comatose since Monday evening.

I'm back to work and I feel slightly better - I can walk up the stairs without collapsing and my resting heart rate is back down from 80 bpm to 58, which is a relief.

Friday, 14 November 2008

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Don't have a cow!

My old stinky fridge has a new lease of life. It was the life and soul of the party, holding all the drink.

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Warning: Contains Rambles

I predict burnout in approximately 26 hours.

Westfield shopping centre was nice though. I wore my prettiest Primark frock and we traipsed the aisles for a couple of hours before fainting through lack of dinner. The centre itself is nice and airy and spacious, there are plenty of flagship stores there, an UGG shop, a Crocs shop and all your other high streety goodness. I paid a visit to Topshop where I stumbled across a leather biker jacket just like the one my parents promised me if I lost weight when I was 9 years old. Unfortunately the biggest size they had was a smidge on the small side, so looks like I still have to lose weight if I want a biker jacket.

Predictably we ate at Gourmet Burger Kitchen, even though we tried not to eat there, but the lure of burgers and fries with mayo and thick milkshakes proved too much for me and I wasn't really excited by tapas or food that had to be thought about for more than 2 minutes. My brain was in steak gear and wasn't having any of this fussy malarky drizzled with goo - just give me meat!

Last night I went to collect a futon that we've bought second-hand for the sitting room. We spent the evening putting it up (and suffering concussion from the thing falling apart onto my head) and giving it a good clean and spray with febreze. I am thinking about getting some custom fabric from Spoonflower to re-cover it with. At the moment it is blue, and reminds me too much of the futon we had in the last place we rented that had a very suspicous stain on it. Eew.

I also took some LOMO pictures of being stuck in the traffic for the Scavenger Project, clearly I haven't got any to show you because they are still in the camera (damn you 1960s slow technology!).

Tonight is kickboxingness - if anyone's in the West London area, I teach a ladies class on a Thursday, it's very good and non-scary; if you're interested you know who to pester!

The weekend proves promising, if indeed a little tiring. Tomorrow evening we are going to see Mr Scruff (in the clothes I bought at Westfield) at the O2, then on Saturday we (I) will be cleaning, tidying and preparing for the housewarming/anniversary/birthday party that we're having. We're expecting somewhere between 16 and 2 people to turn up! Jenn was right - no-one really RSVPs any more!

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Lovely ladies!

Over at Tollipop, Kirsten is having a beautiful giveaway! If you leave a comment to enter her giveaway, please mention that you saw her on my blog. Please please! There might be something in it for me, and there may be something in it for you ;-)

Monday, 3 November 2008

It's not easy, being green

But that's the colour I want my bedroom walls!

Friday, 31 October 2008

Things that are happening apart from decorating.

Wait. Now let me think...

There must be something, come on now... Well I have been training in the arts of martial. I have Goals to complete before Christmas. They involve hitting and kicking things Very Hard.

Last night the hubs worked late - until 2am in fact. So late that it was indeed early.

Oh yes, and it is the husbandido's birthday on Tuesday so tomorrow I have to make his cake, which will either be a raw food cake (er. Yeah.) or will mostly be made out of icing, because there is still no cooker. The latter is probably going to be the best option because he has mentioned to me that he could eat fondant icing all day. I shall take him at his word and buy enough packets of icing to create a cake entirely made of icing! It shall be magnificent! Of course I could actually make him a fried cake, but that sounds a bit yucky!

For his birthday/our anniversary we are going to visit the mighty Westfield Shopping Centre. Frankly I could think of more romantic things to do but there is a Gourmet Burger Kitchen - who am I to argue? And of course there will be purchases of items "because it is our anniversary". I have actually already received my anniversary present which was rather sweet of him. We've been trying to buy lots of things in Habitat because we've got money-off vouchers that run out today. I've really fancied one of those laser-cut flowery lampshades for ages and ages and now we have, you know, lamps, to put it on it is obviously the time to buy it. Unfortunately we almost came to blows over whether it is a) nice and b) value for money. I lost the argument at the weekend, however on Tuesday he rang me up to ask if I wanted one for our anniversary and was checking to see that I hadn't already bought one (he knows me far too well!). So that's sweet! Although I'm not sure "lamp shade" really constitutes a romantic anniversary present, but it's got to be better than straw!

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Red and Yellow and Pink and Green

Purple and Orange and Blue... These are all the tester pot colours I've bought and more! Tonight I am going to start with the undercoat in the bathroom and paint the bedroom in more shades of green, although to be honest "Kiwi Burst" looks an awful lot like "Lime Zest" which looks like "Lime Fizz".

However there is no mistaking "Lemon Chiffon 1" which I have renamed "In Your Face Yellow". The guy at the mixing desk today said, "Is that to save on lightbulbs?" to which my answer is a resounding yes! The exterior light shines into the bathroom after dusk anyway, and since we don't have any blinds yet we don't actually switch the bathroom light on, we just bathe in the half-light of security light through frosted glass. Sounds romantic, no?

We've also got a bright red tester pot - I am going to paint a big heart on our living room wall for the house party and have people write anniversary/birthday/housewarming messages in it!

Monday, 27 October 2008

I'm BAD!

You know it, come on!

I'm only wearing one fingerless glove*. It's cold in the office and that's all I can find.

I have had a weekend filled with in-laws and sleep deprivation and plumbing. All I want to do is hide under my duvet and the weekends are never long enough and can't we have enough economic unrest that we only get to work a 3 day week? I would be quite happy with that as long as I could keep my little house and its duck-down duvet.

* ETA: That is only as in "Only one of two", not only as in "I am nekkid apart from one fingerless glove". It's far too cold for that.

Friday, 24 October 2008


How exciting... I have been tagged by Cloudhopping

The rules are as follows:

1) Link to your tagger and list all these rules in your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by including links to their blogs.
4) Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

Here are my wierdy facts!

1. I can do box splits and I'm very proud of the fact - as my friend says, I'm good at parties!
2. I'm currently only eating 6 days out of 7 and donating the money from 1 day's food to charity.
3. I've always wanted red, curly hair. Fortunatley I'm halfway there with the curls!
4. Some days I'd just rather be by myself.
5. I'm an insatiable reader. If I don't have a book I will re-read the closest to hand.
6. Following on from 5, when I started senior school and discovered the library I took 8 books out on the first day!
7. I get intimidated teaching people kickboxing - I still feel like a fraud!

I am going to tag the following bloggers:

1)painted fish studio
2)Made by michelle
3)My Little Corner of the World
4)Naughty Hippo
6)I love Grey Skies
7)Big Girl Feet


We are going to have the most wierd house in the world, ever! Seriously, all that art and now I've gone and bought some vinyl cow stickers to vamp up the stinky fridge, and I've also bought enough to stick onto the new washing machine (I think I ordered a white one) that's being delivered tomorrow.

This weekend is going to be a crafty one - I've got to stay behind at work tonight to do some screen printing since my Keep Calm and Carry On cushions are selling like hot cakes, as are the tote bags. I'm also filling out my first sale or return order for a retail shop just off Carnaby Street in London, how very exciting!

This morning my paint samples arrived in the post - the house is going to look like a patchwork quilt after I get my hands on it. All I want to do it paint, I want it to look nice, not like some scummy messed-up house that other people have lived in! I've almost painted over the brown gloss(!) paint in the bedroom. I'm debating whether to actually paint over the rubbishy half-falling off wallpaper or to do a proper job first time round and strip the wallpaper and re-plaster the walls. I have a feeling we might be putting up with patchwork paintwork for a long time if I decide to re-plaster.

These are two more prints that I bought yesterday from yellowmonday on etsy. <3

Thursday, 23 October 2008

Art for Art's Sake

I just went wild with my paypal account. Somebody stop me! I thought I'd browse the art on DaWanda and etsy. I picked 3 prints from DaWanda (actually one is an original ACEO) and before I'd got to the 4th search page on etsy I'd bought 4 more prints. Really, that's it now!



Enjoy. These three are from LaSrtaPil on DaWanda.

I'll blog the others later.

Monday, 20 October 2008

Calling All Winners!

Ok, so everyone who commented on the Halloween PIF post gets a prize! Hurray!

That's rubyred, little pudding nappy cakes, candles by lisa, buffy, and painted fish studio. I think I've messaged you all in some form or another - if you haven't got the messages, please e-mail me your address.

Cheers ladies.

Friday, 17 October 2008

Last Chance Saloon

This weekend is the last chance to comment on the Halloween PIF giveaway.

Go here to leave a comment.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

This is a bit strange

This be my DaWanda shop. Note the precious poster (one which I have had on my desk since April).

This be the Keep Calm Gallery website. This post says that it's "new" on 23/07/08.

I've lost all feeling in my legs. I don't mind we've both got similar posters, perhaps we both came up with it at the same time, perhaps there are only so many ways to draw a cloud... But I'm pissed that they're getting more net exposure than I am, and I've only sold 1 of these prints since I've had them on etsy and DaWanda from April.

Le sigh.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

It's the little things...

At last, I will be able to sleep soundly - no more worrying about house buying, no more worrying that the hubs won't like the place (he loves it), no more uncomfortable rock-hard airbed that gives me stiff and aching hips and pins and needles in my arms! I won't be banging my head on the ceiling either, which was a hazard in our old place. We are off to Ikea tonight to blow a wedge on furniture. We've finally settled on this bed since it is solid pine (I insisted it was solid wood), and also has storage (the hubs insisted on that one - I think he is tired of all my junk...)

I have great plans for the bedside tables which will be hacked to a certain extent. With the drawers going all the way to the headboard you would lose the top drawers if you put tables next to the bed. Fortunatley Ikea have matching bedside tables that are on metal legs (which are most probably self-assembly and don't actually have to have the legs attached) so I am going to mount those babies on the wall next to the bed so that we don't lose that lovely storage space.

I also stumbled upon a bright yellow shower curtain which will brighten the place up a treat. Not that we actually need a shower curtain since the shower unit is broken. I am settling for a shampoo spray attached to the taps to wash my hair. I'm also considering painting the bathroom bright yellow and leaving the tiles white. I think that should be quite sunny and not too overwhelming since the bathroom suite is white and half the walls are white tiles. I've sent for FREE paint samples from Crown (rock on Crown, love ya!) and I will be trying them out ASAP. I'm dying to get just one area sorted, even if it's just the cupboard for my bike gear! I can't wait for the weekend...

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

I'm here!

I haven't forgotten, honest!

I have been busy moving into our new (grimey) house. At least it's our grime!

Photos to follow in a little while, I'm busy catching up on a billion e-mails and, like, work!

Monday, 6 October 2008

Party like it's 2009

2009 calendar

New Calendar for 2009, not sure whether to print it yet...

Halloween PIF

I have some creepy goodies to give away, not a lot, just a little.


Five commentors will get a creepy trick or treat bag sent to arrive just before Halloween. So leave a comment before Monday 20th October and you might be lucky!

Brixton Art Fair


Unfortunately it was a bit of a wash out, but we had fun and it was worth going to Brixton just so that we could eat cheap, good, chinese food at Speedy Noodle!

Friday, 3 October 2008

Wear Sunscreen

I remember listening to this when I was 15 (that's 10 years ago). What can I say? It's all true.

Monday, 29 September 2008

Some random ramblings

DH and I walked about 8 miles on Saturday, mainly to the shops and back

I have curly hair today, and have had since Friday - it's a record!

My external hard drive has died, 120Gb and 2 years of creativity down the drain.

I went to the gym this morning and did lots of Olympic lifts. I feel like a strong-girl - GRRRRR!


Thursday, 25 September 2008

Geek Chic

If I was feeling in any way flush - or even just normal, then I would be buying myself this:

As it is I will just have to lust over it for a little bit longer (and until I figure out if the length of it is right - I have humungous wrists).

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

My week so far...

Has mainly involved this:


A little bit of this:

Lee & Graham ii

And an awful lot of this:


That is actually me doing the kicking in the first photo, I do a lot of BJJ but this photo I took of my instructors is too good not to share, plus I have don't have any photos of me wrestling. I can also do the splits like this little guy but I am not as photogenic!

I'm doing more martial arts to forget about the house nightmare that is playing out. More on that once I start to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Friday, 19 September 2008

Poorly Penelope

My bike, Penelope is a bit poorly.

Tears of a clown(this is my friend Bill at a NYE party.)

First of all, on Wednesday night, we were rudely awakened by the Police coming to tell us that poor old Nelly had been pushed over while she was parked in the street by some crazy madwoman! They took my statement and while there were only really a few scratches on my bike and the clutch lever had snapped off, it is going to come to about £600 to repair her! Sheesh! Because the woman is crazymad and known to the police, it is not likely that she is even going to go to court let alone be ordered to pay damages. Now I am left with the choice of paying my £250 excess and risk my insurance premiums going up if I get her fixed or putting up with a scratched-up bike.

I took her to the garage on Thursday morning to get her clutch lever fixed so that I could actually go to work, then they discovered that the cluctch cable was about to snap, so they replaced that for me. I got to work and took out my MOT certificate and saw that it was 2 days overdue. I booked her in for an MOT straight away. Unfortunately she failed her MOT and needs new brake discs which is going to set me back a few hundred quid. She also has a hole in the exhaust which is making her backfire - that's going to cost the same as the front discs to replace but, strangely enough, they didn't pick up on the hole in the exhaust on the MOT. The place I got her MOTed doesn't do bike repairs so I had to load her in the back of the transit van, take her to my kickboxing class, take her home last night and then to the garage this morning.

In the middle of the night I woke up thinking my right eyeball was on fire - I got up to take my contacts out and couldn't see, I now have a lovely lovely red eyeball! Fortunately I managed to get some drops this morning for it, but they taste foul once they've dripped down to the back of your throat. Ugh!

After I'd dropped Penelope off at the garage I had to find an HSBC to go into so that I could CHAPS the money for our house deposit to the solicitor. I paid for about 40 minutes parking thinking that I would only have to go to the counter. How wrong could I be? I queued up at the counter with my 2 forms of photo ID and marriage certificate and bills and cheque books and credit cards only to be told that I had to be seen by someone else. At 25 past 10 I was put on a list of people waiting, some people had already been waiting since 10am! At 11:10 I was finally seen by someone, after having to go and put more money in the parking machine! The whole transaction took less than 5 minutes and I'm sure the guy at the counter was more than capable of putting through a CHAPS transaction... Bleh.

On my way to the car I walked past a milkshake shop - they had over 150 flavours, which included Weetabix and Farleys Rusk! I chose a Fondant Fancy shake, because if there's anything better than a Fondant Fancy, it's a Fondant Fancy milkshake!

So after the bank trip things are looking up, since I got into work and have 2 etsy orders sitting in my inbox. I just have to figure out how to get to the bike garage on the tube and give my credit card a hammering.

(I've just been to my flickr account to find a picture for you, hence Bill up there with his clown tears, and I've got a message that my "I'd rather be napping" print has been featured on a blog. What a roller-coaster day today!)

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

I've been on a bit of a spree - it's DH's birthday in, like, November so I went and got him this from interobang on etsy. I love it... So if he doesn't like it, it's mine.


It's naughtyhippo's husband's birthday tomorrow, but I only remembered yesterday otherwise I would've bought him a glass eye! He will just have to settle for other, almost equally cool, presents.

I've spent the weekend being Eine Kleine Hausfrau tidying and sweeping and cleaning and washing and ironing. We have given notice on our current place, so we have a month to move out. They are showing prospective tenants around today so last night was also spent in a cleaning frenzy.

Here's a small sneak peak of what I drew in the travelling journal - I got the idea from Rebecca's blog.


In case you can't read that:

I can do the splits every which way!
I can twitch my nose like a rabbit
I wish I could sing better
I want to drive America in a 1959 Cadillac Coupe de Ville
I live in the city, but I really miss the country

Thursday, 11 September 2008

Vote Vote, Like a Baby Stoat!

That will only ring bells if you surf

But anyway, my internet inspiration Heidi Kenney has been nominated as a "Craftiest Bastard" for a big craft show over in the states.

I just wanted to let you all (3 of you) know that you should go here and vote for "my paper crane".

Go on! Now. Do it.

Tuesday, 9 September 2008


These are photos from the wedding I photographed at the weekend. Let me apologise for yesterday's post! I was uploading so many photos to photobox that Firefox decided to go a little mental on me! Let me tell you that e-mailing was no fun! The cursor kept jumping to the left, so I had to keep pressing the right arrow. After a few hours of that I simply gave up and posted in gobbledegook!

wedding routemaster


Monday, 8 September 2008


Originally uploaded by flurogoddess
Ok, so I have decided to edit this post!

Firefox was having a hissy fit because I was uploading all my wedding pictures to photobox to create a book for the bride. I wanted to post this picture because it is one of my favourites from the day. I just snapped it quickly as they were running past, I didn't compose it or think about it, or even look down the viewfinder properly, but those sweet girlies running with their capes flying deserved a picture!

Thursday, 4 September 2008

I'm Awesome!

I went to the gym for the first time in a long time last night. I am angry at how much I have let my fitness drop. I could barely run a mile at 30 second intervals! I am a big big silly! However I feel so much better for going, and I will try not to let it slide again.

I've joined up to a really cool project called postcrossing where you get to exchange postcards from around the world! My first 2 are going in the post today and I think I will put another 2 in the post tomorrow! Excellent!

calmcushionI'm in the middle of shipping out orders! There has been a rush on my Keep Calm and Carry On cushions! I am also sending some cute little custom mirrors off to the US today.

Last night I stayed back at work to finish off the wedding present I was in the middle of making a couple of weekends ago. The wedding is this Saturday, I still have a fair bit to do on it, but fortunately it is all doable on the train. We are off to Manchester for the wedding and while we are there we are going to go to the Lowry Museum and on the Manchester to Liverpool ship canal. I'm also going to be taking the pictures at the wedding, which should be fun but also scary! I am charging batteries and cleaning off flash cards as we speak!

awesome-chelsea-1Also, which I almost forgot... My friend thinks I'm AWESOME! Which is pretty sweet, since I'd just bought myself a T-shirt that says so!

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Awww Shucks!

I came home to something approximating this sight after training last night!

Plus Hot Fuzz on DVD AND an ipod cover.

I'm in love!

Friday, 29 August 2008

I am back from the craft fair and I did reasonably well considering I usually make a loss taking everything into account!


I have many beautiful things to show you: Shepherds paper shop and purveyor of beautiful tasty paper including bible paper, recycled paper, paper made from bananas, papyrus, and of course elephant poo paper! They also sell delightful pocket notebooks for £2 and lovely leather covered sketchbooks. I am going to visit the shop tomorrow since it is just near Holborn station.

I'm off to Hobbycraft this afternoon to buy myself a sticker maker! Wahoop! I swear, the more ideas I come up with, the more money I have to spend! Heh! The sticker maker is going to help with some secret Christmas stuff that I might give you a sneak preview of soon...


On Saturday evening I went to my friend's Hen do in Manchester, I think I travelled for about 6 hours to spend 3 hours with her! Such are the joys of living in the country! At least I got to drive the nice Grand Espace with some great music to keep me awake at 2am!

Thursday, 21 August 2008


This arrived in the post today! It's a blank journal that is starting on its travels and it has come to me first. Yeeks! The project was started by Carina and lots of other lovely ladies are playing along too!

Solveig | Jen L | Nicole | Jen R | Moi | Nicky | Miss Stacey | Jo | Jen S | Viv | Lindsey | Carina

Features features everywhere!

Goodness me!

Another little feature!

This time from Pink Pink I'm a lucky lucky girl! Go and read my post, she asked some good questions!

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Sausage and Biscuits!

crazy sausage

I went to Ikea yesterday and was amused by this, and these:

ikea biscuits

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Oh My Goshness!

I've been featured AGAIN! This time on Katie's Blog because of the We Make Christmas craft fair in the American Church on Tottenham Court Road! I'm ever ever EVER so excited for We Make Christmas - I have a couple of rad things up my sleeve for it, if my husband ever gets his finger out and prints out my prototype ;-)

I'm currently in the process of making a "flurogoddess" banner for my stall at the weekend and finishing off some little Ninja fluff-balls. They've only appeared on flickr so far in their unfinished form, but you can be sure that they will most probably be on DaWanda/etsy/Folksy when they are finished - which won't be until after the weekend.

Ninja Fluff-balls!

If you want to reserve your Ninja (with an added Shuriken by Friday...) then leave a comment or mail me!

Somebody loves you...

I do! Nana naaa nana na na n'naaaaa OoooOOOOoooh

Ok, enough of my Country and Western singing.

Today I have been featured on "Cuteable" or rather my sweet little dandelion notebook has! Hoorah!


Monday, 18 August 2008

Following on

but in a crafty way...

This post on refasioning a PILLOWCASE into a NIGHTIE for a full grown woman has me a little lost for words...

Friday, 15 August 2008

Us wimminns and our bodies

I am currently re-reading Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters which is an American book about us 20-somethings hating our bodies and thinking that we have to be perfect and that includes our bodies. There are sad descriptions of woman after woman feeling bad for eating a cookie, spending 3 hours on a treadmill to counteract a bite of chocolate and throwing up after eating a pizza. It breaks my heart into tiny pieces and I can't fathom what it is but it also touches the "perfect girl" in me to eat less. It's bizzare.

Yesterday when I was searching through Getty Images for that picture of the note book, I'd put in the search term "too much" and I got a whole array of pictures coming back. There were some pretty disturbing ones of a stick thin model, with her ribs showing trying to saw off some "fat" from her thighs, others with her pinching some skin for the skin-fold callipers and then on the next page, at least 3 or 4 of her pictured throwing up over a toilet. There were pictures of her sitting on a toilet eating a big chocolate cake and others in the series with the empty plate and her puking. I don't know how to feel about these pictures, I think they are a disgrace and that to a certain extent they make a mockery out of a serious illness. Although it is a sign of our times that some people feel brazen enough to set up studio shots and photograph scenes depicting eating disorders, is it necessarily the right thing to do? I mean we all know that people have eating disorders, now more so than ever but is there any need to glamourise it to a certain extent. I do not need to be shown a picture of some made up model in a bikini(!) puking over a toilet to be aware of Bulimia. In fact, I wouldn't say that the girls who are Bulimic are going to be wearing their bikinis to throw up. What's up with that?

Then I was on my way to training last night, thinking about a new-ish girl who is really flippin gorgeous and is doing really well with her martial arts, she seems to be progressing really really well. Anyway I was riding along and thinking to myself that she has a really great figure, nicely curvy and she has these deep brown eyes and black curly hair, a bit like a more polished version of me (at least she makes an effort with her hair)! So we were sparring last night and she said not to hit her in the stomach, which is fine, no worries. She's got a bit of a dodgy knee at the moment, and also I overheard her say something about a bad back to Lee. Basically no concerns. In my ladies class I run her through the Orange Belt techniques and assess her and she passes with flying colours, even with bad back and bad knee. After the class I tell her that she's passed  and well done. Then she says to me, "The reason I don't want anyone touching my stomack or my back is because... (here I'm thinking she's going to say pregnant...) I've had liposuction." EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS!


Really? Because I for one (and I don't say this) can't see any difference at all. Perhaps her belly is a little flatter, but still, she is still her, and still pretty gorgeous. I said, "But you have a lovely figure." and she counteracts this with the fact that she's been wearing black!!! Like that makes any difference other than when you're standing in front of the mirror! In my class I see ladies from all angles and in all posistions, I generally have an idea of people's shape and size. But she protested and said she'd been having trouble with it since the age of 12. The way she protested and the way she dismissed my compliments had echoes of myself in there. I know I have batted away compliments because I have been fat in my head rather than physically. At the moment I am a little chubbier than usual (you know baby weight, well I have house weight) but my head pretty much feels slim. When I look in the mirror at the moment it doesn't reflect what I feel, but I am working on that (just not to the point of starvation or puking or running 5 miles at dawn). I felt a little disapointed that my hope for a "normal girl" in my class turns out to be another perfect girl and a starving daughter. I felt a little bit like when Lindsay Lohan started shrinking because I had seen her in Mean Girls and gone "Phwoar!" over the fact that there was a real woman with real curves playing a teenager in a high school that would most probably be rife with eating disorders. I remember commenting to my hubs that she was gorgeous, and I remember seeing LiLo looking all lollipopped and I just felt like that was one in the eye for the "normal" girls who were just trying to be normal and not a messed-up perfect girl.

Another thought, which however unjustified it may be was, "Gosh if she's had lipo, then does that mean that I should?" I mean she's about the same size as me, same amount of curve, same hair etc.... Fortunately liposuction is something that you couldn't PAY me enough to have. I don't like the idea of diliberately injuring myself for the sake of vanity, when really the work that needs to be done would be in my head. One good thing about this is she says that it has dramatically improved her self-image. I am pleased that it has "worked" for her, but I am sad that she had to take that drastic route when perhaps a few self-help books and a good natter with a best mate would've sorted out the problems in her head. I'm also a little bit sad that I hadn't told her how gorgeous I thought she was before her surgery. Not that it would've changed anything but it might have meant a little bit more to her.

Thursday, 14 August 2008


or like a kid in a candy shop depending on my mood!

My ideas are spilling over

This is almost what my ideas book looks like at the moment! I have signed up for a Christmas craft fair and most of my ideas are Christmassy ones! I've also got a couple of softies to make, one for my swap and another couple for a secret surprise wedding present in a couple of weeks time.

I have a secret something to do for a certain person's birthday coming up...

And some stuff for my bank holiday craft fair.

I'm also thinking about calendars for 2009 and I just wonder what to put on them. Wonder wonder. I need a theme! I need to start drawing!

Tonight I'm off to training, then tomorrow I will be staying late to get a start on the crafting. DH is out all Saturday so I think I will be crafting then too! I might make use of the space at work, rather than getting frustrated over the tininess of the flat. It also means that I won't have any distractions.... Huzzah!

Oh, I also got 2 huge parcels in the post this morning, lots of 58mm badge backs, so I can make bigger badges, and kids can create their own... And a big box full of envelopes that I will be using for Christmas cards and hopefully some new address cards (if we ever get a new address).

Wednesday, 13 August 2008


Burdie ii

Burdie i

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